Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
