apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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