It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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