Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize