I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize