Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
