i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i barfeds in our rink
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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