Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize