When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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