Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
