When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
