So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
