PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
