I wanna passion pit in your ass
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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