Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
