i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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