omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize