why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
