hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
