Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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