ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize