I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
