Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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