so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
