my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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