Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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