i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
