I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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