Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
