i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
