If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
