Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
