Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
