how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
