I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
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