I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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