HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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