So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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