I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
i am craving dick and cupcakes
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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