He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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