hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
