So gin and wine won't be happening again
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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