just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
