her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
