once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
