I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
