scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
