More tranny stories later!
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I supernannyed him into submission
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
