Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
