I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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