you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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