If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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