just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He did a backflip because drugs
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
