the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
