You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
