he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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