You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Randomize
