I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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