I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
