New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
It's never too late to be topless.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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