i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
