you traded sex for a burrito?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
