I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize