Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Small penises have feelings too.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
