So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
