guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Someone signed my nipple.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize