so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
