Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
